Ontroerende gedichten

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Tears keep falling from my face, always thinking about that dark place. Even after all these years, I'm still broken and feeling out of space. Memories flash before my eyes. It’s like the devil in disguise. But even if the stars won't come out tonight. Or refuse to shine a spark of light. I know that in the end, everything is going to be alright.

I wish I could find a place where I could just be at ease and stay. Where all the pain and suffering would finally go away. Where the broken pieces of my soul and heart wouldn't be shattered anymore. Where only love and hope would come knocking at my door.

Because I'd love life like a flower craves for sunlight. There's nothing I wouldn't do, for to live a life like the most of you do.

I love it when I catch some glimpse of humanity left in this world. Like beautiful acts of kindness, that lighten up our day with that spark we all have inside our hearts. Like an ordinary unexpected kiss, or on a sunny day your loving mother's bliss. When these things make your day worthwhile, make you happy, even just for awhile. Treasure those moments, keep them locked away inside your heart. Because these are moments, that money can not buy, nobody can steal from you and you'll allways know inside, you'll have to carry on - and try.

High-school memories, felt more like the end of me. You hear people ramble about the good times and stories about having fun. For me every day felt like someone please hand me the fucking gun. I remember constantly being ashamed for who I was. Never dared to look up twice, when all I ever did was being nice. Misunderstood and torn apart, it all fell down on my fatigue heart. Because it's a cruel world sometimes, when you're a unique work of art. Which you already were, just so you know. Right from the very start.

This one doesn't begin with I wish you were here. 'Cause I always have you near me, my dear. In my heart you'll always be you see. But in a way, I think this was meant to be. Your suffering tears you apart, from the start, when all we wanted was to have you healthy back strong, as a beating heart. You are not in pain anymore. If only I could see you again, through the window sitting on that chair by the door. I'll miss and love you if possible even more, so much more than I already did before. Please know that I feel you every now and then, I'd trade places with you in a second if I can.

'Cause like seasons change, my mind and mood do. I'm a worrier as much as I'm a warrior. I overthink and struggle with self love, am insecure and often dwell in the past. But that doesn't stop me from blooming into the woman I was meant to be. Being blessed with this life I'm given, I will forever be searching for beauty during the darkest hours. 'Cause after all, without the rain, you can't have blooming flowers.

Having issues makes me human. Being human makes me grateful. As long as I can feel and love life. I am enough.

Why is it that we only seem to find the right words to say, when something starts to fade away. Why is it that we search for love and need the urge to feel, yet never take the time to let our wounds heal. Why is it that whenever I think about you and me, it's always the same old painful history. The only thing I can think about, is all the things I did wrong, that ended in you being gone and me ending up all alone.

These thoughts in my head, they keep me up in my bed. It's like this song that has no end. And the good memories never seem to blend. No need to press play, because it'll always continue to stay that way. Until you pull yourself together, and finally find the courage to say "STAY THE HELL AWAY.".

Love is such an adventure. We all grow in the process to love one another. 'Cause you can't know from the start, what's inside each other's heart.

Your eyes seem more sparkly tonight. Gazing at them while your arms squeeze me tight. Your hands wrapped around mine soothes me, and all I wanna do for the rest of my life is adore you as yours truly.

To others it somehow always seems I choose when to be sick. But believe me when I say, if someone would've asked me at that very moment if wanted to die, I wouldn't hesitate to say "Please make it quick.".

This constant pain, to never know if it will someday somehow come to end. It's like whatever I do, my mind and soul never together seem to blend. I've got so much sorrow inside of me, it eates me up alive so terribly. Cracked open and teared apart, but then again, happy endings never were my favorite part.

Exhausted to the bones. It's like being in a competition, who suffers the most and can earn thrones.

To feel not good enough, when all we ever want is love. To feel good in company, why does it  feel so terribly. Insecure and so ashamed of who I am. The perks of being confident aren't all that glam. How I act and this constant feeling I lacked. I'm thinking maybe my soul is cracked.

Pain. It's something ugly that we all have the same. Some of us get stronger and fight. Others stay in bed and cry all night. Who's to say, what's right. You don't choose how you feel, what you think and what about it that's real. Every single one of us struggles throughout life. It's just that to the outside world, we seem okay. At first sight.

When it hurts to be alive, don't be afraid to look back. Trust that you're on the right track. Have faith and don't let your inner demons take the best of you. 'Cause whatever is about to happen, you are gonna make it through.

A light at the end of the tunnel. A breath of fresh air. And all of a sudden, I again care. I've been throug hell and back. Told myself that I was wack. For the first time in a long time, I can't decline. I am alive.

 

I.C.



 

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